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Author Topic: Another newbie from Repromed  (Read 2309 times)
Bec89
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« on: November 26, 2012, 09:28:03 AM »

Hi all.

I'm a 23yr old donor child out of the QEH/Repromed.
Although my mum told me about this when I was 13, my dad never wanted anybody to know, and died from a terminal illness 6 years ago without ever knowing I knew. It's probably my biggest regret that he didn't feel he could trust in my love, or in himself to tell me. Even now I'm not able to be open about my parentage as his childen from a previous marriage were never told either. I can't bring myself to make them feel as betrayed as I was, especially as they don't have the option of talking to him about it. On the flip side, as he died of a genetic disease, it may bring them some comfort if they knew I will never have to suffer that way.
Suffice to say, in my experience it is much better for the child if the parents can be open (at least in the family) about the donation.

I've always been a bit of a genetics and biology nut, and ever since dad passed I've toyed with the idea of trying to find out about my donor. I guess I have this desire to try and account for the bits of me that don't come from my maternal family.

From converastions we've had I'm fairly sure my mum has no interest in attempting to or helping me to find information; I sense she just can't understand why I can't just be happy enough with her.
Which misses the point that I'm not looking for an insta-dad! so much as wanting to know what kind of punnet-square combinations make me who I am.
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dadams
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« Reply #1 on: November 26, 2012, 08:32:30 PM »

Hi Bec
welcome to the forum.
I'm from the QEH as well.
And I too have lost my dad.
And I too am a biological scientist.

Have you contacted Repromed to see if you can find out any information?
They will redirect you to a person (can't recall their name), at the Adelaide University as AU now holds all of the old Repromed records when Repromed was bought out a few years ago (it was originally a AU company).
The donor code would be a start - with Repromed/QEH it will most likely be a two letter code.
We have a small database of code numbers over on the Australian donor Conception Registry (Yahoo group).
If your searches with Adelaide Uni do not turn anything up there is always the possibility of doing some genetic genealogy.
If there is anything I can do to help please let me know.
Kind Regards
Damian
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Quinny
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« Reply #2 on: November 30, 2012, 07:07:11 AM »

Hi Bec,

Welcome to the forum. I found out I was donor conceived when I was 25 and it was the hardest thing I have ever done to talk to my Dad about it (he didn't know I found out). I am glad I had the chance as he was quite open and, I think, relieved that it was no longer a secret. My Dad has since passed away.

So in my opinion it is better to tell, even to other family members. I have been surprised (in a good way) by peoples' reactions.
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Donor conceived adult from Perth, Western Australia. Searching for a donor who donated to Dr Colin Douglas-Smith in 1976.
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