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Author Topic: my email to QFG  (Read 18120 times)
AllyRose
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triciabougoure@hotmail.com
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« on: August 09, 2007, 11:21:13 AM »

My name is (deleted for safety).  I spoke to you on the phone about 4-6 weeks ago (when my 6th monthly freezing invoice was due) to check on the 10 vials I have reserved in storage.  I know you receive numerous phone calls so I expect you may not remember.
 
Anyway, my reason for contacting you via email was to ask the following:
 
1.  May I please know if any/or how many babies have been born via the same donor? (our son, ***** was born on 30/12/04).  Am I correct in understanding that ***** was the first live birth with this donor as I remember you advising us when we chose #213 at the beginning of 2004 that there had been a pregnancy but unfortunately the lady had miscarried.
2.  Have samples of #213 been sent to any other clinic in Qld, Australia or overseas?
3.  I am quite aware of the 10 live birth limit per donor as per the RTA guidelines, but if those 10 live births are achieved before I use my 10 vials in storage, am I then forced to not use the remainder vials?  My husband and I are planning on going back to Gordon Kilvert in September to start trying for a second baby.
4.  I know by the allowable information you provided me with on our donor back in 2005 that he is willing to be known to the donor conceived children once they turn 18, but can I write an anonymous letter to him to thank him?  Is he willing to receive this or are you willing to send it on to him?.  If he is not willing to receive a letter, can the letter stay on file with QFG for future reference?
5.  Can I provide a letter on file that we as *****'* parents are quite willing to make contact with other parents using the same donor should they wish to do so in the future?
 
I thank you for your patience.  There is no urgency to my request.  I am only asking the questions that I am allowed to know the answers to, according to the RTA.  I need to keep as much information as I can for the future when the time comes for ***** to ask all those wonderful questions as only an innocent child can.
 
Thank you.




I have already sent this off and I am waiting for a reply.  Only time will tell.
« Last Edit: August 09, 2007, 11:22:54 AM by TriciaB » Logged
Daven
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« Reply #1 on: August 09, 2007, 11:53:23 AM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:52:44 AM by Fiona » Logged
AllyRose
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triciabougoure@hotmail.com
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« Reply #2 on: August 09, 2007, 11:55:00 AM »

Hi Fiona, are you talking about Andrea - she was the donor sperm coordinator.

Is she the one who has left?

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Daven
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« Reply #3 on: August 09, 2007, 12:05:14 PM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:53:01 AM by Fiona » Logged
AllyRose
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triciabougoure@hotmail.com
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« Reply #4 on: August 09, 2007, 12:05:58 PM »

Wow - that would be grate thank you.
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Daven
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« Reply #5 on: August 09, 2007, 12:07:23 PM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:53:23 AM by Fiona » Logged
AllyRose
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« Reply #6 on: August 09, 2007, 12:09:02 PM »

ok thanks for that - I sent the email to andrea@qfg.com.au - hopefully she will get it - I'll give it a week and then try again if no reply.

Thanks for your help Fiona - I appreciate it.  Glad to hear she is a little more approachable than what I found Andrea to be.

Cheers
« Last Edit: August 09, 2007, 12:12:22 PM by TriciaB » Logged
Hursty
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« Reply #7 on: August 09, 2007, 11:15:26 PM »

Hey Tricia - some really interesting questions you are asking. AND I thought 10 meant 10 babies as well - not 10 families - you really have to watch closely dont you!! - or you miss the interpretation. I hope you get a reply. You know I've been thinking about all this not passing on letters to donors who have already consented to being known once the child turns 18. It really sucks as the donor was most likely only asked if they consented to being known once the child turns 18 and probably no other choice. To not give them the choice of recieving letters etc is not fair either. They might be really happy to know whats going on but arent given the opportunity to say so because no-one will stick their necks out far enough to ask a simple question.
Sue
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Quinny
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« Reply #8 on: August 10, 2007, 04:02:16 AM »

Intersting Hursty, but it's very rare to hear of a donor trying to find out things from the clinic or pass on letters or anything. Is it just that we never hear of this or are they not as interested?
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Donor conceived adult from Perth, Western Australia. Searching for a donor who donated to Dr Colin Douglas-Smith in 1976.
Daven
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« Reply #9 on: August 10, 2007, 11:13:18 AM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:53:58 AM by Fiona » Logged
Hursty
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« Reply #10 on: August 11, 2007, 12:58:43 AM »

Wow Fiona - how on earth do you have non- identifying email?. Does anyone "police" it?
When Cyntra and I were first allowed to write anonymous letters to each other they were sent via the fertility clinic and read by someone who decided whether it could be sent on or not. Made for hard letter writing and  a few of my letters were'nt sent on because they were'nt anonymous enough BUT they never told me this and for a while when I didnt get a reply from Cyntra I wondered if she didnt want to know us. It was just that she didnt know I had replied to her letter and I didnt know mine wasnt sent on.
 Well - good on you anyway.
Hey Quinny - who would know if a donor asked questions? They (if any do) would get told the same as us! No sorry - join the register and when the child is 18 (if born before 2004 in W.A.) then we can pass on information to you. Thats what I mean they wont give anyone further opportunity to change their minds or accept or decline earlier correspondence. Also they (the donors) probably dont want to "impose" on the family so are probably happy to wait until the family are ready to contact them?
Anyway I think its great whats happening in the UK at the moment. They are even trying to get the donor also included on birth certificates which I think is great as it would take away all opportunity for lies and deception. I really would have liked Cyntra to have been named on Jethro's birth certificate as well. (of course with me on there!! along with Andrew) I think if 3 people create a human life then 3 people should be named on the birth certificate. I also think if someone is against this then they are probably intending not to tell the truth anyway. Just what I think.
Cheers
Sue
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Daven
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« Reply #11 on: August 11, 2007, 12:55:57 PM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:54:24 AM by Fiona » Logged
Hursty
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« Reply #12 on: August 11, 2007, 11:02:01 PM »

Hey Fiona - you are in Queensland are'nt you? If so.... QLD doesnt have any legislation on DC does it? Just wondering how you were allowed to have contact like this and others cant until the child is older. I'm thinking wow - you got it all happening!!  Smiley
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Daven
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« Reply #13 on: August 12, 2007, 05:10:08 AM »

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« Last Edit: June 25, 2011, 10:55:39 AM by Fiona » Logged
Hursty
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« Reply #14 on: August 12, 2007, 08:58:46 AM »

Well you have been lucky too - like me over here. After what we did - the fertility clinics have now been declining to send correspondence - even letters of thanks on to the donors, so I believe. So in one sense what we did was good ie: laws were updated to keep up with the technology in the future, yet people in our situation ie:children born before 2004 are comming up against a brick wall in order to get any correspondence through which is very sad. Dammed if you do and dammed if you dont. Undecided
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Love and Truth go together.
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