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Author Topic: Mum of donor conceived children  (Read 2857 times)
jojamwil
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« on: August 06, 2012, 10:39:04 AM »

Hi all,

I am the mum of two donor conceived children (sperm). My boys are (nearly) 13 and 11, have the same donor (concious choice on my behalf after doing a fair amount of research on the thoughts and feelings of donor conceived children) and have been told since they were babies about how special they are and how we were so lucky to have a special person help us have them. Around the age of 6 and 4, during one of our chats, I asked them what they wanted to call their donor and they came up with donor dad. So that's what they call him. The boys were born in Melbourne, so are covered by the Victorian legislation.

Just recently, I decided to obtain identifying information on the donor and applied to the Victorian BDM. The reason for this ?, well I was curious and I was concerned that if I left it until they were 18, then maybe the donor may not be around or somesuch. Anyway, after going through the process, counselling etc, I found that the boys' donor was not covered by the unconditional disclosure, the donation was pre-1998, so it was up to him as to whether he would allow contact now or we would have to wait until the boys were 18. Good news, the donor was happy for contact now and we have exchanged emails and photos and continue to do so.

My older boy was curious, but after seeing a photo of the donor and asking a couple of questions, that's it for now. The younger one had a few more questions, but not much more. I forward the donor's emails on to the boys and then it's up to them if they read them and know they can talk to me about it anytime.

Where to from here ? well I know there are 14 other half-siblings. We are the first family to contact the donor, but again I am curious to talk to the other families if they want to. Our donor id is 54A from Monash IVF. So if there are any other families out there, and you would like to chat, I'd love to hear from you.

cheers Jo
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dadams
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« Reply #1 on: August 06, 2012, 11:07:56 PM »

Welcome to the forum and thanks for sharing Jo.
I hope that you are able to find and have contact with the other families.
It is disappointing that they continued to use pre-1998 donations after that date without fully disclosing what this could potentially mean to you and your kids. Luckily he was open to contact which is great.
All the best
Damian
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Quinny
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« Reply #2 on: August 06, 2012, 11:35:33 PM »

Hello and welcome Jo.

That's great to hear that you got contact with the donor for your boys.
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Donor conceived adult from Perth, Western Australia. Searching for a donor who donated to Dr Colin Douglas-Smith in 1976.
jojamwil
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« Reply #3 on: August 07, 2012, 08:56:47 AM »

Thank you for the welcome guys. Much appreciated Smiley
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