Australian Donor Conception Forum
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Author Topic: Hiya  (Read 2196 times)
fish
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« on: May 13, 2011, 05:19:27 AM »

Hey group. I'm a donor child, 27. My mother told me the truth a couple of weeks ago in a somewhat unplanned manner. My (non) biological father has been dead for more than a decade, and apparently no one else knew apart from another family member overseas.

I have to say I've never had any inkling whatsoever and I'm still spinning out.

I have spoken to someone from a support group who said that that was somewhat unusual; that most children start to wonder at some level why they don't look like one parent. I'm a mixed race kid and I can happily assure you that this means you have a fair chance of not looking like either of your parents anyway, which I suppose makes some things better and some things worse.

I'm definitely interested in getting my medical history stuff from the clinic - it was the RSNH, which apparently is better than a private clinic. I am somewhat hesitant about actually contacting the donor or finding out if I have any half siblings. Basically I don't know if I'm in the right place to do it, and I've been told it's usually not a Hallmark experience (ie, that most donors do not wish to be contacted).

Anyway, hello to you all; I have been reading your stories and I'm immensely grateful to you for providing them. I have encountered exactly zero people in any other area of my life who could have provided the information and support which this forum has. Thank you.

fish
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dadams
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« Reply #1 on: May 13, 2011, 10:25:07 AM »

Welcome to the forum fish.
From most accounts it does take a long time to process when you find out in adulthood.
I have always known so I haven't had to deal with the late discovery myself.
I would not assume that most donors don't wish to be contacted.
Certainly there are many that don't but there are also many that do.
Research shows that their views can change over time so those that may initially only wanted anonymity may change their minds and be more open as they age and have their own families.
Your views may change over time as well.
Mine certainly did, especially after I had my own children.
Another place where you can talk to other donor conceived offspring is the Yahoo Group; People conceived via artificial insemmination (PCVAI), which is actually open to all offspring no matter what the process of conception was (only named because that was the most common form at that time). That group has people from all over the world, while this one seems to be mainly of Aussies.
Good luck with your journey, no matter what path you choose to take.
Best wishes
Damian
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Quinny
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« Reply #2 on: May 14, 2011, 02:07:46 PM »

Welcome to the forum fish. I found when I was 25 and I am still looking for the donor and any half siblings.
Just take your time to process this revelation.

I'm glad you found the forum helpful.
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Donor conceived adult from Perth, Western Australia. Searching for a donor who donated to Dr Colin Douglas-Smith in 1976.
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