Australian Donor Conception Forum
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Author Topic: Mum of DE twins aged 9  (Read 3935 times)
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« on: January 27, 2011, 02:22:55 PM »

Hello everyone,

I have just signed up to this site, I have been browsing the forum this morning and found it very interesting.

I am in the UK and I have had IVF treatment using donor eggs, resulting in the birth of my lovely twin boys who are now aged 9 and a half. It was an anonymous donation, in the year 2000, so unless the donor decides to re-register then my sons will not be able to trace her in future (The rules preventing anonymous donation didn't come in until 2005).

My sons know they were conceived by egg donation and so far they seem fairly matter of fact about it. But I am wondering how their feelings may develop as they get older. I would love to hear from any donor-conceived teenagers and adults (egg or sperm) about your experiences, how you feel about your origins, what motivates you to want to trace your donor etc. I am wondering particularly if my sons may feel unhappy that they probably won't ever be able to trace the donor or their genetic half-siblings (of which they have at least three).

Hope to hear your views soon!


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Donor offspring from Perth, WA

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« Reply #1 on: January 27, 2011, 05:08:33 PM »

Welcome to the forum, Rach.

I am a donor conceived person. My perspective won't the be same as your sons because I didn't find out until I was 25.

I don't know how to explain what motivates me to trace my donor. It's like I must know this information to complete myself. It feels like there is a missing part of me and I want to know what it is.

Before I found out I was donor conceived I had no real concept of any of this donating or infertility stuff. I feel like this whole other world has been thrust upon me and I've had to learn all about it, even though I have no real interest in this area. It's quite frustrating to me. So how do I feel about my origins? Annoyed and frustrated. I feel that way because of the lack of information on who I am related to.

I really hope your sons don't have this feeling. Donor conceived people can have so many different attitudes to their own situation that it is difficult to try to guess how someone may feel about it.


Donor conceived adult from Perth, Western Australia. Searching for a donor who donated to Dr Colin Douglas-Smith in 1976.
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« Reply #2 on: February 01, 2011, 10:19:12 PM »

Dear Rach99
Adam is right in that DC offspring have a whole rainbow of emotions on the subject.
Some are very happy with their conception, while others are traumatised from it and extremely unhappy about it.
Their views may also change over time.
I have been at both ends of the spectrum and everywhere in between.
I have always known about my conception so at least I have never been confronted with that as an older person which would have been far worse.
The major turning point for me was having my own children and realising the importance that the genetic kinship has. My motivation for searching (even though I started searching well before I had children), is not just about me anymore but also about them. I also I feel that I owe it to my children to try and provide for them some of the things that I have deprived of (genealogy, kinship, heritage, family health history, sense of identity etc). Not only do I wish to trace my father but also my siblings.
My unhappiness and anger is not directed at my parents who I love dearly but at the institution and clinics that deemed that these things should not matter to us when they are allowed to matter to every single other person in our society.
You should be able to register with the UKDL (UK donor link is currently run by the HFEA) service to help with your childrens search for siblings and their donor.
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