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Author Topic: Hi from SMC from W.A. used donor from Repromed S.A.  (Read 5090 times)
RoseW.A.
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« on: March 17, 2007, 05:15:54 AM »

I am a single, heterosexual 48 year old W.A. woman who has a 20 month old son created via IVF (own eggs, donor sperm) at Repromed in South Australia.
I was married for 20 years, to someone who didn’t want children. When that marriage failed a few years ago, I was going to accept my situation but after much sole searching, I thought…What can I lose? So I started on a long journey of counselling to investigate the process.
At 43 years old, I put my name down for sperm donation at a W.A. fertility clinic and worked my way up the waiting list but after 18 months of waiting, I decided to change to another W.A. fertility clinic (who had no waiting list at the time).
I then had 6 unsuccessful frozen transfer attempts. Just as I turned 45, I decided to have another egg collection while I still seemed to be quite fertile but the W.A. clinic I was with refused, because of my age.
I started working through the Equal Opportunity Commission and Reproductive Technology Council, to get this decision changed, but after a few weeks, decided there was obviously some hidden agenda game playing between the RTC and my clinic. Time was racing and since no other WA clinics had available sperm, my GP suggested I try an eastern states’ clinic where the age criteria was higher.
After much research, I decided on Repromed S.A. who offered Aneuploidy Screening (where embryos are screened for the major genetic disorders before implantation).

I was provided with quite a few donors to choose from. I sat down with their information sheets and chose one almost straight away. He just felt right. I then sat down with my criteria I had thought about and he was trumps on all of them and none of the other donors matched all of my needs.
Most importantly I wanted someone who said they wanted future contact.
I didn’t care about height and weight but I wanted similar colouring to me.
I preferred someone who was single and who was donating for altruistic reasons.
I did not mind if they were gay but SA don’t allow gays to donate so that was irrelevant.
A blood type that would not cause problems with my own blood group re the child.
His age - I wanted it to be close to mine - if and when my child might meet him I didn't want my boy sitting in between a 63 yo mum and a late 30's donor.

I chose not to accept any sperm purchased from overseas as I was clear that I would hope for maximum contact and that would always be easier with an Australian donor.
I also wasn’t sure about how much screening had gone on with the other country’s collection agency – were they as strict as us?
Also a couple of the Single Mothers by Choice (SMC) who I know had used overseas sperm found contacting and negotiating with the collection agency for contact took extra time, cost money, was difficult to communicate with, and could not be relied upon to have maintained contact information.
I thought the likelihood of eventually finding an overseas donor more difficult.
And finally for my son, I worried about half siblings being spread around the world.
Although Australia now requires overseas donors to have contact information I simply did not trust what was coming and did not trust how many families their sperm was going to where as at least here it might be 5 or 10 maximum depending upon your state.

I unfortunately waited until my son was 10 months old before contacting Repromed to see about having donor contact. About this time, Repromed changed hands and the old files were not purchased by Repromed and now sit at the University of Adelaide.  Repromed sent out new contact sheets for donors (ours didn’t return his sheet) and I am currently trying to negotiate a process where I can at least pass some information on to our donor even if mutual contact isn’t allowed.
Now with hindsight I wish I had started earlier with donor conception and found a known donor but it was all a bit of a maze at the time.

I am friendly with about 20 SMC in W.A. and about a dozen of us meet every month or so for mutual support and more importantly as a playgroup for our kids. I think I can say without exception they all welcome donor contact but have found negotiating with clinics difficult.

I am so grateful for this forum. Good luck to everyone.
I will be posting some information about our donor on the “Searching for Information” board.

Regards, Rose


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Looking for half siblings of Repromed Donor DZ who also donated at Queen Elizabeth Hospital in S.A.
Hursty
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« Reply #1 on: March 17, 2007, 10:50:27 AM »

Wow Rose what an interesting story. And welcome to the site. Yes "hindsight" is a wonderful thing isnt it. Good luck with your searching. Wish I lived closer to Perth so I could go along to your meetings etc...I am so happy to see Mums on here like myself (single or married) who agree that information should be available for our children and are trying to do just that.
Sue Smiley
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Love and Truth go together.
karlas_mum
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« Reply #2 on: April 14, 2007, 10:25:39 AM »

Hi rose
Welcome to the group wow your staory was very interesting to read i am glad it all worked out for you in the end.
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