next »

[jlydia]

Hi all

My name is Lisa and I am the proud mother of three - one daughter (natural conception) and my 2.5 year old fraternal twin boys who were conceived at QFG using a donor. 

I'm considering posting our donor number in the hope of potentially contacting genetic siblings to my boys - if you can direct me to any stories/posts about this, I would be very appreciative.

[Fiona]

Hi - you could post it under the searching area - http://australiandonorconceptionforum.org/index.php?PHPSESSID=55bcc4f9df28ebdb2bd375da6f8f6ea9&board=36.0

I suspect a lot more people read here than they post.  The Donor Sibling Registry has a great record of matching offspring - not only in the US.  I know of a couple of people here who have connected with siblings via the site.

Good luck.

[dadams]

Welcome Lisa
and good luck in your search.

[jlydia]

Thank you for the warm welcome.

After reading some threads on here, I bit the bullet and phoned QFG today to get some info.

It turns out that my sons have 7 (seven!) genetic half siblings - a mix of boys and girls. All of them conceived around the same time as my sons. One other family has said she would welcome contact from other parents - apparently to do this I need to write a letter and then it will be up to QFG to decide if they will pass it on.

Our donor is not donating any longer and only has a short supply of sperm left so is unlikely to be offered to any new families at this stage.

Now that I have this information, I'm not really sure about what to do about it. 

[dadams]

Hi jlydia

not sure that I can answer your dilemma.

But as for this: "It turns out that my sons have 7 (seven!) genetic half siblings - a mix of boys and girls. All of them conceived around the same time as my sons. One other family has said she would welcome contact from other parents - apparently to do this I need to write a letter and then it will be up to QFG to decide if they will pass it on."

You want contact, they want contact, but a third party is going to decide whether or not you will have contact. That is just plain wrong and is just another example of how the clinics seem to be a law unto themselves. I'd pull my hair out if I had any left.

As for the number of siblings, I'm not sure if you are surprised by the number. Some DC offspring have many many more half-siblings. Some less.

[jlydia]

You want contact, they want contact, but a third party is going to decide whether or not you will have contact. That is just plain wrong and is just another example of how the clinics seem to be a law unto themselves. I'd pull my hair out if I had any left.

I agree. I honestly can't see why if she has said she wants contact, and we do, why they can't just pass it straight on. No, apparently it needs to go before the director and a committee before they decide if they'll do it. Apparently it's a staffing issue  - I was given the 'oh if we did that for everyone we'd have to employ someone full time to keep up with it'. Umm . . . and the point?!?!

Re the number - I am surprised although not sure why yet - still processing I think.

[dadams]

Thanks for that jlydia, that comment by the clinic is typical of what I expect from them. They are happy to provide a service and take your money, but after that transaction has occured they do not wish to provide anymore resources than is absolutely necessary.
Many of them fail to see that once you have entered into the world of donor conception then it can be a life long process. While some are happy with their exchange (eg once they have their baby then that is all they need), there are some that feel that there are other important issues which need to be addressed (whether it be now or 20 years down the track).
And yes there should be a full time person responsible for the records. I often wonder if the current computer records are backed up off site in case of a fire, flood etc.
It would be great to hear how it goes from here on in for you. If you are inclined to share it with us that is.
All the best.

[Fiona]

QFG have had a bit of staff turnover in that position over the last couple of years.  I know many of the past patients have good ideas on how it could be managed... a full time person among the ideas.

I'll grateful to the clinic I used that they were happy to pass a letter onto our donor.

[jlydia]

And the turnover at QFG continues - when speaking to Amber she advised that she is leaving the position in Dec/Jan.

[dadams]

I wonder what that says about QFG?

[AllyRose]

Hi Lisa,

Welcome.

I too am another mum who used QFG services.
I have never had anything to do with Amber, I only dealt with that awful woman Andrea a few years back and her replacement (cant remember her name) but she was lovely.

My husband and I have a little boy who is about to turn 4.

Are you aware that QFG is on the market?  I saw a big article in the Sunday Courier Mail about 2 months ago on the subject of the clinic's sale - I wonder just how much this will influence any decisions make.

[dadams]

The DSR is a great resource if you are one of the "newer" offspring/families.
The older ones have very poor success rates.
Another registry that is worth putting information on is AMFOR. It is also free unlike DSR.