Australian Donor Conception Forum

General Category => Searching for Information => Topic started by: RoseW.A. on March 18, 2007, 04:28:05 AM



Title: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A. on March 18, 2007, 04:28:05 AM
Hi, I am a mum of a donor conceived child who is keen for anonymous or known contact with the wonderful Donor DZ who has helped create our family. But we would also welcome any half-sibling family contact.

First of all, regardless of the donorís decision re contact, I have to say there are no words to thank him. His extreme act of generosity has created a new life for us, where every day is the most wonderful day of our lives.
Secondly, if he does not wish to have any contact, I would totally respect those wishes but I think it is important for my son to know about his genetic heritage as soon as possible and my child gets older I know there will have questions (I may not know the answers to) but I am doing lots of reading and some counselling to help me make the right decisions about ďTelling issuesĒ. I want to be completely honest.

I would dearly love to put a name and face to questions and have some continued contact of whatever level and type that the donor would be comfortable with. I am hoping and praying that our donor has some curiosity about us. I am happy to have contact in any form or frequency.

Although the donor has indicated he welcomed future contact, because Repromed was purchased 9 months ago by another company, and the donor did not return a new contact sheet, apparently Repromed cannot liaise on my behalf and I am going to start trying to negotiate via the University of Adelaide who own the old records to see if at least a letter may be passed on to him.
Below is some of the information I have about Donor DZ used from Repromed Clinic in S.A. Regards, Rose.

Repromed Donor Clinic Code: DZ
Donor Height: 180cm
Donor Weight: 76kg
Donorís Build: Average
Donorís Hair Colour: Dark Brown
Donorís Complexion: Fair
Donorís Eye Colour: Hazel
Age at Donation: 40. 2 years. Age in 2005: 44 years
Race: Caucasian
Country of Birth: Australia
Ancestry: Australian (Donorís Father and Mother are Australian)
Marital Status: Single
Children: 0
Occupation: Engineering
Education: Tertiary Diploma
Future contact: Yes, would be interested in future contact
Non smoker
No glasses or contacts
Blood Group A+


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: dadams on March 18, 2007, 10:31:32 PM
Hi Rose,

the info you have is a good start. The Repromed change of ownership and the change of hands of records has put a lot of peoples info at jeopardy. I am more than extremely annoyed about this. Keep trying with Adelaide Uni - if they give you too many problems then you can try contacting the South Australian Council for Reproductive Technologies to see what they can do (or if you wish to report any grievences).

Regards
Damian.


Title: We have found our donor (by absolute pure chance)
Post by: RoseW.A. on April 06, 2007, 06:49:39 AM
Hi all, a few days ago we found our donor DZ. I have been waiting to calm down before posting. It was by absolute pure coincidence and chance we met in a totally unrelated online forum. We both contacted Repromed who confirmed we were both who we said we were and so the counsellor said "go ahead with contact".
It turns out he did indeed return his contact sheet (that Repromed had said he had not returned) but for some reason it was not on file. He is now sending them another one in case there are others looking. We have since exchanged emails, some photos and a phonecall - all very friendly and positive.
He actually donated for about a year at the Queen Elizabeth Hospital just before they relocated to another office (I assume it became Repromed?)and he has been able to tell me the number of offspring.

I was nearly at the end of my letters to the Uni of Adelaide re requesting contact (although I had now been warned it would not be a welcome request) and some other organisations. I still think I shall write to these latter organisations re procedures, as I think things are not as I would wish to be handled.
In particular I was struck by the DCSG site information about the Australian Legislation on Donor Conception; "Ethical Guidelines on the use of assisted reproductive technology in clinical practice and research" and "This is a very important document because it is the guidelines by which all clinics in Australia are supposed to abide."
And I was struck by 2 guidelines in particular;
1. "Clinics should help recipients to understand the significant biological connection between their children & the donor and
2. Clinics should encourage people who have been donors in the past, or donor offspring to contact clinics and register their consent to being contacted and sharing information."
I do not think my clinic followed this advice. And I want to find out the standing of this document - how binding is it on clinics?

To say I am happy for my son is an understatement. The last year I have been concerned and a little sad that making contact was not as easy as I thought. Last night I spent a lot of time thinking about the adults in this forum who don't yet know their donors and thinking what the past year times 20 years or so - what must that feel like. And I will admit to shedding a tear about it.

Thankyou so much to all of you for your support. Thankyou for starting this forum.
Thankyou for the private messages and guidance re some posts.
He and I are a bit stunned at this stage that we have met. I hope and pray and wish for such a happy ending for all of you searching. Regards, Rose


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Daven on April 06, 2007, 06:59:58 AM
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Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Quinny on April 07, 2007, 07:43:30 AM
Wow! That's great news Rose! I am glad that you found the donor.

Is the unrelated forum you found DZ on somewhere that donors check?

As for the guidelines you mentioned, I bet that for point 2, there are NO clinics in Australia doing that.

Anyway I am glad that you and the donor DZ are in contact. It's good to have these happy stories once in a while. :)

Cheers,
Quinny


Title: Re: we found our donor
Post by: RoseW.A. on April 07, 2007, 01:01:07 PM
Hi and thanks Quinny, no it was a boring recreational forum absolutely nothing to do with donation or ivf or anything and that is why it is all so spooky.

Yes - I never believed that we would be one of those happy stories.

We are just exchanging information at the moment and treading softly.
But he has been so welcoming - I get a great feeling about it all.

Cheers all, Rose


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: AllyRose on April 08, 2007, 03:49:24 AM
Hi Rose,

I am so happy for you and your son.  I certainly hope it is a happy journey for you, your son and his donor.

It gives us all hope that someday it will be us experiencing this too.

Good for you.


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Hursty on April 08, 2007, 12:06:38 PM
Hi Rose and CONGRATULATIONS. I (we) are so happy for you. You can now give your child any info he may ever want or need. Yes it is sad that others still cannot find any info but soooooooooooo good to hear it is becomming more frequent. So weird that the people who claim that any decisions must be made in the best interests of the child are usually the ones most difficult to deal with or get information from (ie. the clinics and councillors,  and the one's of us who have found the doners have been by coincidence or from outside help. Makes you wonder doesnt it who they really are taking care of. :)


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: dadams on April 09, 2007, 11:20:58 PM
Wow - I'm completely blown away. That's amazing. Just goes to show what a small world it is.
As for following the guidelines, they are just that guidelines. A clinic is not bound by them. There are however some regulations that all clinics have to follow to receive accreditation and be allowed to practice (point 2 is not part of these regulations). To go about a publicity campaign to get former donors to provide info would cost the clinics a lot of time and dollars and it is something they want nothing to do with. They want to be only concerned with ensuring that a woman is able to get pregnant and that they end up with another happy photo of the parents with the new born. Concerning themselves with what happens further down the track is something that just detracts from their core business. This may sound jaded but I'm yet to see any evidence to the contrary.
I would love for you to write to the South Australian Council for Reproductive Technologies (look up SACRT on google) and express your dissappointment about the situation with the records and how they are unwilling to help. The SACRT needs to know aout this.
Congratulations on finding DZ, even if your child never wants to meet or know him, at least the information is there if they need it.
Regards
Damian


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A. on April 10, 2007, 01:12:24 PM
Hi all, well so far, after a week of mutual communication with our new found donor it is going great guns. He is keen for contact and we have exchanged emails every day with new photos and videos and now some phonecalls. He is going to tell his siblings about his donations and us contacting him (his mum knows).
I have printed out his photos for my toddler's photo album he carries around with him. He keeps saying "what ever is best for the baby; what ever he will want to do"...I am just so blown away. I am floating. My head is spinning.

Yes - am writing my letters this week. When he said he had returned the sheet...my blood boiled...but for this...we would be waiting for teenage years because someone didn't file that letter properly.
Cheers all, Rose


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Hursty on April 10, 2007, 10:37:16 PM
Hi Rose
Glad everything is going so well.My personal thoughts are that it is wonderful that your child will grow up knowing that his doner is actually interested in his life just "because". How good is it that he will know that he wasnt just a "donation". - that didnt matter to the doner. You and your husband will always be looked upon as the parents but your son will also have DZ in his life if this is what he wants. Your son has wonderful secure parents who are (as was put to me recently) brave enough and love him enough to put him before themselves. I admire you
Sue


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A. on April 10, 2007, 11:31:28 PM
Hi Sue. I am single (I think that is in one of my posts somewhere).
So there is no husband at the moment.
But I don't always plan to be single and so far in the last few years, I have been honest with guys that I have met (even one when I was pregnant) about the situation. I loved being married (I was married for 20 years) but that is another story.

So I think it must be easier for me re welcoming contact as I am sure husbands must feel some pangs and insecurities about a donor coming into their lives.
And a future partner won't have those same fears (i.e. fear of replacement???)

Also I think our donor is welcoming because he is single and has no partner that might feel nervous about the whole thing??? Just guessing here.
Regards, Rose



Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Hursty on April 11, 2007, 02:16:50 AM
Hi Rose
Sorry I didnt remember you were one of the single girls here. Anyway even if you are the reasoning behind what I said is still the same. I think you could / couldnot be wrong about the insecurities a "husband" might feel - depends on the guy I spose. I dont feel any of that with meeting our egg doner as mine and Jethro's is a strong relationship anyway and there is no competition in true love. I am glad that Cyntra also loves him and I dont think that either of us would be able to replace the other in what we mean to him in the future. Just had a quick thought............ wouldnt it be amazing if DZ turned out to be Mr Right???? LOL - my thoughts get away with me sometimes....
Well done again
Sue


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A. on April 11, 2007, 05:22:00 AM
Hi - ok Sue - now you have definitely flagged yourself as a Romantic!
Cheers, Rose


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Hursty on April 11, 2007, 10:28:47 AM
LOL - now thats a new description of me!!! :D


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A. on March 05, 2008, 01:58:06 PM
Hi everyone, I have had a mindblowing year with some struggles that have prevented me from doing much online stuff. But during the last year, we met up with our wonderful Donor DZ that this topic was originally about.
It has turned out to be a lovely good news story unlike so many here who search without success.
As you may have read before, we found our donor by chance and had lots of phone and email contact. Late last year we met up in person by crossing states.

My son and I met our donor and his parents and siblings who all welcomed us with open arms, presents and fantastic bonding experiences and trips and get togethers.
We have continued contact since this meeting and I have now feel particularly close to his mother and sister. My son has a new Grandma and Aunty who asked if it is ok for him to call them that (when he is old enough) which thrilled me to bits.
Our donor was warm and caring and interested and polite and everything anyone could want. He was exactly as I had imagined (which relates to emails, pics, videos etc we have been swapping)but so much more warmer and kinder. I "feel" like he is a brother I haven't seen for a long time; someone I am connected to, but don't know as well as family members I have daily contact with.

So now I am just going to continue our sibling search, but I feel so much more relaxed about it and not so much urgency for some reason.

I am occasionally tentative in some aspects of our donor relationship but am sure this will all be more comfortable as the years progress. We swap cards and presents at anniversaries etc., are talking of future meets and extending contact. I am so full of the promise of my son's future with his other family and know he will have some type of relationship with many of them.

I wish all of you happy endings. Rose


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Quinny on March 05, 2008, 02:18:01 PM
That's really great news and such a heart-warming story.

I am really glad that the donor's family want to be so involved.


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: dadams on March 05, 2008, 09:30:11 PM
Thankyou for sharing that with us Rose.
I'm glad that it is working out and that everyone seems to appreciate how important this may be to your son.


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: AllyRose on March 06, 2008, 02:42:54 AM
wow rose - that's great!

It so nice to hear the successful stories.


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Hursty on March 06, 2008, 12:15:11 PM
Great news Rose. I'm so glad to hear that the correct people will get the correct names ie: Granparents not being called aunty and uncle etc.. - they are who they are.
Sounds like it is all going well. Wish for you and your son that this continues like this. What a wonderful outcome.
x  Sue


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: RoseW.A.2 on September 02, 2012, 04:19:53 AM
Hi everyone, I have been away for a long time, and thought I would update on my story.
I have a 7yo son who was conceived via ID Release Donor via Repromed in Adelaide. I met our donor by chance online...even then Repromed the manager did not 'approve' of us verifying that we were donor and recipient...but I said I would just go and have a DNA test anyway. My donor and I have become good friends and my son has chosen to call him 'dad' and our donor likes that too. He is single, 52 and has a twin sister who never married or had kids either...she adores my boy. Today we rang him to wish him Happy Father's Day and we are visiting him in our school hols. We try and visit him at least once a year. Since I last posted, I lost both my parents so now my son's only grandparent is our donor's mum whom he calls Nana. Our donor's whole family have been as welcoming and open and wonderful as any "happy ending" story anyone could wish for. At the same time as they are in SA and we live in WA, we also get a "tyranny of distance" time out when both sides need their own space.
A few years ago, a mum contacted me who had also conceived using our same donor (which she found via this site) and needed our donor's contact details to get Repromed Adelaide to release his sperm for her and her husband to have another child. They had lost his forms (again!!!!) but for this site, she would have an only child. She did not feel comfortable having contact with me yet and I pray one day she feels she can let our children meet or at least know each other. Now I have a lot of reading and catching up to do. Still hoping to find siblings to Donor DZ from both centres he donated too.


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: dadams on September 02, 2012, 10:25:24 PM
Hi Rose,
welcome back and thanks for updating us with your fantastic story. So happy that it is working out well for you all.
Cheers
Damian


Title: Re: Searching for Repromed S.A. Donor DZ or half siblings
Post by: Quinny on September 03, 2012, 06:21:00 AM
Thank you for the update Rose. I am glad that this website existing has helped people find each other. I hope to devote more time to it and get it looking better (it looks very dated at the moment) this year. It's great about the donor's family being accepting.